Thursday, January 24, 2008

Superwoman,who me? nah!!!!

I am not a punching bag when things go wrong

I am not a Google toolbar that you stand at the doorway and ask/ holler, ...”Where’s my socks’

I am not a trash bin, dustbin, a kuppe basket, whatever

Working from home doesn’t mean I have free time, it means I have no time

I don't have to be guilty if i feed them maggi(instant noodles) once in a while, they love it and its easy

I cannot please everyone, there will be one person unhappy...let it not be me

I cannot have more hands than two, more hours than 24, so bear with me

I am not a super mom/superwoman



Sorry to break your hearts, but the above was not a tirade against the hubby… he has enough tensions battling it out in the corporate world to even attempt to get into another potentially explosive battle ground …That was more directed towards me! and a wake-up call to all those wanna-be superwomen.

Not so long ago, I used to think that I had to be perfect, in every role that I found myself in. Of course being young then, I had the advantage of being overconfident. But gradually when ‘a’ role morphed into many, umpteen ones, I was no less then a juggler, trying to juggle between them all. There would evidently be an unsatisfactory performance somewhere. Anytime I slipped, my failure would mock me. Or the wagging fingers would pounce and shred my entire attempt to pieces.

The culprit here is none other than yours truly. I realized that my own bar was raised so high that no one else could top it, including me. It does get quite stressful. Being superwoman is not what I want…..

I gave up trying to explain to people that working from home does not mean that I am trying to fill my extra time (what’s that?) with some work. It is something I’ve opted to do; because it gives me the huge advantage of being there for my children. There have been times when I have sat up nights finishing a deadline, to compensate for those hours spent with the kids. So I do exercise the right to say that I am busy…because I am!!


I gave up trying to be superwoman ages ago. That was when I realized that I was driving myself too fast trying to achieve all those fabulous results, some preconceived and some forced. Expectations can really tie you down. Some are necessary to self motivate you and some just threaten to suck you deeper into that quagmire.

It IS better being a not so super person with regular abilities than dying early trying to keep up with these self imposed missions.



I would like to think that I have prioritized my expectations and learnt to let go. It has made a difference; I am not likely to reach my grave too soon. In fact if your kids see you human and fallible, it helps. They end up not having an unreal image of you and empathize. They would feel better knowing that even you can make mistakes and it is human to err! There are times when I purposely attempt a dazed momma look and see my elder son exasperatedly doing a job…but it teaches him to be more efficient…

Delegation is a better idea and does not really take away anything from your inherent abilities! A little flexibility and realistic scheduling work wonders too.

Personally I cannot be superwoman …firstly her costume is too tight. I won’t fit into it. Secondly she’s unreal. And if she looks like that, she is the cause of more accidents that involve the male populace.


Super man on the other hand deserves a standing ovation. Anyone who can fly around saving the world with his red chaddi on a blue skintight hugger is super brave… ( not talking about chris reeve here)

So I repeat, I am not a superwoman, I’m just super at being myself!!!!

We all ARE!

28 comments:

--xh-- said...

itz not easy being a mom :) well, i will keep this blog for future use :)

Ps said...

And one should NEVER EVER be apologetic or explain.
I SO AGREE with this post.Expressed exactly my thoughts and what i feel about it.

Ziah said...

So is that for me??? :) I’m kinda juggling too.. and I’m kinda also concluding that I have to let go, Atleast once in a while..:)

Prats said...

Bullseye!!!!!
We women are meant to live life just like the rest of humanity....and I really wish we are allowed to...

Can picture myself ranting like this most mornings, and nights...and you're so correct in saying that the benchmark is marked out by us and only us...

and thinking of it...maybe you'd look kinda cute in that superwoman suit heheheh :) *runs to hide under her table*


@ziah....yes...sometimes it really helps to let go once in a while.....and never to look back and feel guilty..

Rambler said...

I am not a Google toolbar that you stand at the doorway and ask/ holler, ...”Where’s my socks’

I could not stop laughing after reading this.. amazing sense of humor you have got :)..

BTW I secretly wish I can find a tool bar like that for myself :)


As far as super man/woman go.. I do not thing being super is being perfect.. being super is being real :)

I totally agree that working from home, is not something like a timepass.. don't push yourself too hard. have fun :)

pink dogwood said...

I feel your pain - I worked from home for two years when I had my first daughter.

And when all else fails - maggi noodles definitely work :)

Preethi said...

very well said .. in this race to being perfect at everything.. we lose focus of the most important thing.. living our life .. and enjoying the little triumphs.. I bet super mom can't do that!! What say??
There is no need to do it all.. as long as you are at peace with yourself and take time to smell the roses .. thats what is more important!!

Just Jen said...

I agree 100%!!!
I can't tell you how often I've had to explain to people that staying home does mean Peg Bundy-TV soaps and bon bons! If only!
You are a super yourself and so am I! :D

Compassion Unlimitted said...

Well said..But women have the capability to be able to juggle things and stretch themselves.They are very successful but one thing is,they need a shoulder to lean on, when tired.If those shoulders are available,no stopping a woman i guess
TC
CU

rayshma said...

whee! i like batman!!! he doesn't have "super" powers...but is still a true superhero! :D also, of course, has better fashion sense & a sexy car!
and heyy... u'll fit into superwoman's costume... it's spandex, i think! ;)
on a more serious note.. i loved this post! :)

Deepali said...

Nice post. And you are right. It's always better to know that there will be limitation, and finding your way around them rather than struggling and failing over and over.

Btw I like the pictures you use in your posts.

UL said...

oh yes, i loved it too..who wouldnt ? You have expressed the feelings beautifully, inspring post. Thanks.

Madhumita. said...

Suma, you've achieved what I consider to be an almost zen like state. This is where I am trying to get! But I keep falling off the wagon :-D. Well done.

Btw, I have tagged you.

Thinking aloud said...

@ -xh-
good idea! i endorse it :)

@ ps..
so true!

@ ziah..
this was solely for you :)...so that 'V', and the future lil zv's or vz's don't take advantage of your super abilities ;)

the problem is not letting , the issue lies in feeling comfortable when you do so...

@ Prats...
heh..heh...thanks for the (*u can come out now) compliment...

and you, i must say are very close to a super MOM...truly!!!

Thinking aloud said...

@ rambler...
Ahhh!! Don't we all wish that!!!

hey , i will..thanks

@ pink...
thanks..
maggi really does work..without the guilt feelings when you feed your kids instant food :(


@preethi...
kudos to you for realising it early enough...nantu is going to have enuf to say about this though ;)

Thinking aloud said...

@ jen...

heh..heh...as you rightly say, if only!!! my problem is warding off the ones who want me to join kitty parties...:(

How are you? feeling better now?


@ CU..
i'm speechless...how like you to fit in the guy somewhere in between al this...

someone rightly advised me never to show a guy how much we are capable of...'cos then we are digging our own grave ;)

@ rayshma...
I loke batman too...he's sexy :D

and how like them to use spandex...stretch ourselves to the LIMIT!!!

and thank you...

Thinking aloud said...

@ dipali...
i do AGREE with that!!! the idea is to delegate and get more work done

and thanks...

@ Ul...
That's very sweet of you...

@ madhumita...
'the zen like state"..give yourself a few more years...

and that's a beautiful tag...thanks...I needed that :)

HM said...

A woman who is a mother, is always a super woman, maybe not a super mom!

I have been called a "Super Woman" by my colleagues. I tend to ignore the "super woman" costume and try to get into the "Super Mom" costume, that would be more worthy! I know I am trying to...but you know..often I feel the same way as you do..

I feel you are lucky to be able to work from home, for me the commute to work, is what drives me mad.:)

BTW, first time here, enjoyed your thoughts! :)

Ziah said...

Hey Superbabe!:) Read you lil comment at Madhu's... girl you got me worried... howz the scene?? I wanted to call you asap and then I realized I don't have your no, I dont even have your email!!:( *Hugs!*

We should ask lil one's guardian angel to pull up her/his socks n do a lil overtime, no??

Thinking aloud said...

2 hm...

supermom would be a good label to wear but i do think kids needn't see us perfect all the while...

working at home can be quite tough...you do need to work around things and situations...which can get crazy sometimes.

Thinking aloud said...

@ ziah...

hey that was so sweet of you...he's doing pretty well and revelling in his black eyed status...thanks for the hugs...we needed them..:D

he did give us a huge scare and still hasn't learnt a lesson...enjoying all te attention and the load of gifts...knowing him he may think this is a novel way of getting new toys :(...

hope guardian angel's listening to you...

HM said...

"but i do think kids needn't see us perfect all the while"

That is true. For me, those are the times when I teach my kids the importance of one's attitude. (Mommy is mad because someone else had a bad attitude, and now mommy's mad tone is making you sad....)

Work is sometimes crazy and hard, doesn't matter where it is from (home or office). But yet, I would still take the option of working from home, any day. (OK, my kids are older and are at school during day time, it would be great if I could be at home by the time they are back)

Brenda said...

Thanks for your candor (and humor) in confronting the realization that you cannot be superwoman! I don't fit into the stereotype, or the costume, either!

Preethi said...

TAGGED!!

romila said...

Reading this post is like:

"Hey! Didn't I write this?"

I reflect totally with what you think and feel. I also used to presume I can be super in everything and like you, being lil' overconfident helped.

But later, realized I cannot be a superwoman, atleast not for all tasks.

BTW, loved most of your posts.
You've been tagged. Please pick it up from my new post. Hope you'll enjoy doing it.

Thinking aloud said...

@ romila, preethi...

tagged? will take it up soon, i promise...

@ brenda...
The sooner we realise it the better!

@ hm..
working from home has its high points...i understand what you meant by being there when the kids are back from school...that's one thing i appreciate too...:)

Na.Su.Krishnan said...

Liked this very much;
"Working from home doesn’t mean I have free time, it means I have no time"

It hits the popular belief that people working from home are just part timer.

Aarthi said...

That was completely cool...exactly your style....keep going...:)