Sunday, November 30, 2008

What Now!!!

So much has happened this last week. Events that could have been avoided. Events which highlighted the insensitivity of the media and the sleeping politicians. Events which revealed massive chinks and deficiencies in our security system...

They came in from the sea this time, just as they had come in from the sky in another country in another time...This time they were smart, even confident. The very audacity of the attacks mocked our defence system. They attacked the foreigners, thus ensuring world coverage. It is also believed that this was a known threat, which makes what happened even more shocking...

Did you see those terrorists? They were mere kids! Kids with Guns!!!! and this time it was for real...these madmen managed to create havoc and the death of so many. They caught us napping. How could that have been possible? But it was, televised as it was to every corner of the world.

The last few days have been spent just watching the television and my laptop, wanting to stop reading but not able to... I just kept reading and watching...

The scene at the VT station is haunting...My son looked on horrified and then turned away saying "They are mad, Amma! Why would anyone want to do that?" Its scary to think that soon this 11 yr-old may get immune to this too. Just like most of us have become.
Much as i miss india and am waiting to get back, i can't blame him if he wants to stay on. When i reached Singapore two days back (luckily my flight was not via bangkok) and hugged my children, a guilty thought made itself loud in my head "at least they are safe here" it screamed..

I'm fed up of listening to insipid, depressing speeches and searching for politicians who come out only when the coast is clear. Where are the leaders when you need them?

These were innocent people who lost their lives. Who paid dearly...for being at the wrong place at the wrong time. For being brave. For being normal. For trusting the country they chose to visit. Will they be soon forgotten because unfortunately 'life does goes on" ?

Then there were the resilient youth who helped others before they thought of themselves, a complete mirror image of the guntoting zombies. The stories are still pouring in of guardian angels. Isn't that cause for hope?

The need of the hour is finding the right leadership to take our country forward...Its time to make a big deal of showing everyone that WE do matter...Of wanting to know why the brave died despite having bullet proof vests...Of why it took so long to fly down the critical team. Of asking questions and demanding answers.

I've been reading blogs after a break...By and large everyone echoes the same sentiment...of wanting to do something, anything ...I see determined people all around having one thing in common..they are all seething with rage...It is the right time to guide that anger in the right direction. They need to unite and take a big first step, perhaps have a common goal... any ideas what that step could be?
These are disoriented thoughts finding its way here...Others have said it far better than me...take a look...


I've just begun reading the feel free to add to the list...

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

SURPRISE!, surprise!

My grandfather passed away last week...Leaving me with nothing but a whole lot of memories to clutch onto. He was truly a good man, having always followed a principle of generosity and giving back to society in many ways. Right now, i'll leave it at that..there is so much that i would want to say but not yet...

Understandably, the week has been melancholic, with G being away in Finland. I also realised that however sad you can be, life does indeed move on...albeit reluctantly

And so the hubby came back, took one look at me and promptly decided that he would manage kids, home and work (*GASP!!!), hopefully in that order, while i go to India to be with my mom and grandma. Now how did he know that was where I wanted to be at the moment?!!! and when did he turn into a mind reader?!!! When? When?!!!

The next day, i saw the surprise gift lying on the table for me and a happy anniversary wish! What?!! When?!!! (i clearly need to improve on my surprised vocabulary)

Now G does not like a lot of fuss..ergo, surprises and G do not go together... ERGO pls do notice my new improved language skills, by inserting Latin here and there..

Back to the surprise act...It is generally me who likes to surprise, be it with tacky jokes or sentimental drama, or overactive vocal displays...

The last time i truly spectacularly surprised G was by blacking out and hurting my forehead....a few days before his surprise 40th birthday party! You can always count on me to do things in style. We also had to cancel the birthday party.

So this gift indeed was quite an uncharacteristic gesture. Especially since this month has passed without the customary not so subtle references to special occasions, gifts, etc..etc...

Just goes to show that it's possible to spend 15 years together and still not know everything about the other person!!

The bottom line is that these two gestures have done the needful! Made me all very sentimental and acting just like a karan johar film heroine. Is there a law against being too nice?
While i was initially living with the cheerful image of a harassed 41 yr old (make that 42) running to the bus-stop with two boys and schoolbags and 6 snack boxes,(sigh..what a sight!), I've reluctantly tossed that picture out of the window. I'm suddenly feeling very very benevolent. and loving. and contented. I'm busy freezing dinners and in general trying to make life easier for the poor dear, the next week. I've also told my two angels who use me as their personal punching bag to kindly wait for my return to resume service.

(i'm also ignoring the suspicion that well timed surprises to emotional suckers are indeed very beneficial to the other person!!! It doesn't pay to be too cynical...)

Please do notice the dears and darlings liberally sprinkled here and there throughout the post.

and also the fact that I'm mentioning G exclusively in this post!!! (trust me, you need to be very special and current news to make it here...)

Can you believe we've spent 15 years together? already?!!!Surprises never cease do they?!

Happy anniversary to us!!! And here's to many many more!!! *clink

and you guys take care, while i spend a few days with my mom and family, gathering more precious memories of my grand dad to treasure and keep and ofcourse till I return back home to the ones who make my moments memorable in every way!

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

The Goodbye

My boys leave early for school. Their bus comes to pick them up at 7.30. There are two snack and lunch boxes to be packed for each child and mornings are crazy. I set the alarm at an unearthly hour and get up 30 minutes after the sound has literally alarmed me. The first half an hour goes in very uncharitable thoughts towards the whole schooling system which has been heartless enough to disregard my sleep when they set their time. This is accompanied by a good clanking of the tea pot and the pans, which incidentally serves as an alarm for my neighbor and a few sleeping birds. Then i say hello to the first waking bird i hear.

What is that you say? You wonder why the hustle bustle when i can get up a little earlier? What? And miss out the drama and excitement in my life? Never!!

Nevertheless, after a good exercise of the vocal system and the limbs, running to and fro getting a petulant 6 yr old to eat something, the 11 yr old to stop dreaming in the shower, we do manage to tumble out of the house. In one piece.

G in spite of contributing to the chaos, does help in many ways. Sometimes he also gets this insane urge to click a photograph of the kids just when they are leaving. How i react is best left unsaid.

After checking if they've worn the right shoes, the bags on their shoulders and the smile on their faces, its time to get into the elevator. That's when the kids scream "I'll be back soon" or a chirpy "see you later, alligator" to G, hug him and rush in. (This stems from a little something we've been taught since childhood. Never to say that we are going but always that we will be back soon. ) sometimes sleepy, at times sprightly but always loud...we never compromise on the decibel level.

Sometimes we are early and we chat or play little games to spend the time. Everyday the bus enters the condo at 7.25 sharp. They get in, find their seats, buckle themselves up. I wave till the bus goes out of sight. I can see the little face pressed to the pane, making funny faces. The 11 yr old looks back, half waving, when the bus finally turns. Sometimes it takes a U-turn and makes an appearance on the opposite end of the road too. I'm still there, waving when i see them. With a prayer in my heart and wishing they have a great day.

It brings back memories of early goodbyes when I used to drop them to school in Delhi. I would still wait till the last strand of hair disappeared from my view. Sometimes the little imps would bounce back and find me still there. with a silly smile on my face

The boys recently told me that IF i wanted, i could stay at home while they waited for the bus. That is when i told them that i'm doing it more for myself. That my day starts well when i get to say bye to them. That if it wasn't for the fact that G has a train to catch, he too would have been here with them. (they love it too when he manages to wait with them). That on the rare occasions that I cannot make it, I feel miserable.

And unknowingly like most things, it has become a habit. For them. The waiting. The jokes. The smiles. The funny faces. The good byes. I think they've begun to need it too. Because they look out for me now, even when they are on the opposite end of the road.

Most times, good byes make me sad. There are a few good byes you never ever want to say. But sometimes, there can be a 'good' in the 'bye'.

I love the sameness of this routine. It tells me that all is well in my world. This is one moment where i don't mind saying bye.

Because the good bye has become such an integral moment of my day.

Because there would come a time when it may not be feasible.

Because time stands still, long enough for me to enjoy the moment for what it is.

And then

it gives me a gentle nudge to rush back because i need to say bye to G too. :)

Sunday, November 2, 2008


episodes from my everyday life

Tring!tring! the phone rings...

"hello? Suma? V here" (a friend's husband )

"hiii!!! When did you ..." the younger boy enters within my line of vision wearing lime yellow on pale yellow, i blink away the image of a jaundiced jeetendra (why jeetendra, beats me!!), and amidst fervent sign language, manage to also scream "change your pants right now!!!

a squawking sound heard from the other end of the line brings me back to the phone receiver in my hand...

' err..V,sorry i didn't mean you. i was talking to my son..."

am i glad I didn't say "drop your pants!'

The issue with having sons is that they are always playing with balls....


...isn't it an issue when it is put like that?!!!! esp in front of people!


Children have this homing instinct. The minute the phone receiver is in your hand they zone in on you and need to talk to you...R.I.G.H.T then...It's always an emergency worth hollering for...Now i hardly realise i have a phone in my hand... much to the dismay of the poor victim on the other line.

the other day

talking to my friend (of course she does not have kids)...after 5 minutes, she says...i'll call you later, 'sounds' like you are busy..

me: busy? no, i'm not ...

I look around...the boys are 'playing' and one is dangling from the bed in a precarious position, ... the noise is deafening....but hey this is normal

No..listen...i can hear you...hello? I say, realising too late that i'm talking to the receiver...

Coward, i mutter!!

While househunting

a long day spent in looking at 5 condominium blocks...all scattered across the island...i look at the last one and tell G tiredly, i so hate this condom...let's try few more and see if we get a better one...
(*sheesh did i say that aloud? pls tell me i didn't?)

the house agent's face assures me i did!

and that's the history behind why I will always call it an apartment block and not a condominium...

The intercom bell rings. It's the security guard.

'Yes, la, have you ordered a meal? '

I wish i had but sadly i hadn't so i reluctantly told him that perhaps the guy had the wrong block. 5 minutes later i hear a thumping on my door.I open it to find a guy with his hands on his waist and glaring at me, the way i do when i'm ticking off my boys...

i look at him worried

and he says' why? you don't want your mail'?'

me : what mail...?

guy, still glaring: the security guy said you didn't want the mail...

ahh so he's a courier guy!

so i have a hearing problem, but you would associate order and meal together, wouldn't you? right? how can i order a mail?


I suffer from the 'wandering mind' syndrome. Simply put, if i'm in a group and the discussion's going nowhere, i have this ability to detach myself and immerse myself in my thoughts. In one such moment , i seem to have volunteered to organise games for the kids for the post diwali gettogether.

ideas solicited from the wonderful readers...:)

erm..okay...pretty please!!


Guess you all had a great diwali and halloween!

Mine have been highly momentful, as always!