Monday, October 15, 2007

renewal

Ever since i read this prompt 'renewal' on writer's island (thanks to ps), it's been buzzing around in my head...Why? because its a complete reflection of my current state of mind...

Recently a dear aunt expired, leaving us all in shock.She had been ailing for some time and was lucky to have her son, daughter and husband by her side ALL the time, for those agonising 3 months. Still, when the end came it was a shock to everyone. For me, she represented all those happy memories spent in Bangalore every summer where the entire clan would gather. To find one of the pillars supporting our childhood memories crumble, has been a devastating experience.

Her death has shaken us up...The bereaved family is still trying to cope with their loss...My mother (she had been her youngest sister) breaks down everyday...My grandparents have withered under the weight of this death ... It has also brought a deep sense of regret in me...regret that I could not do more...regret, that in recent years, communication had been reduced to the mandatory phone call...

Our family is going through some tough times. A sis-in-law's battling breast cancer. It is true that most of the time we don't know how lucky we are. We realise the value of something only when it is no longer there.

At this stage in my life it is definitely time to renew all those relationships I've taken for granted. The relationship of a granddaughter, daughter, sister, friend,and daughter-in-law. Being in a different country makes it very difficult...But I try...

...Parents, Grandparents, In-laws, Mentors, see them in a new light ...You will see them worried about what the future holds...The tables are slowly turning, though against my will...it is now our turn to nurture and support them...To give them the time they deserve and need...To tell them how much they mean to you...So that if the inevitable happens, you don't say:"I wish I had done more...", you say "I'm glad that I did" ...

Yes, it is definitely time for a renewal...

22 comments:

Talk to the hand said...

Hey..Im very sorry for ure loss...I remember thinking along the same lines when my grand father passed away a year ago..He was always there, so much that he just merged into the back ground over time. But I did spend time with him the last few days of his life..Hope u find your peace too.

Vidya said...

This post could not have better reflected my state of mind and heart. I want to write more but am unable to do so.I hope you find your peace!

Compassion Unlimitted said...

Sorry about the tragedy..but the fact that you have realised that you need to support the elders,as the roles have reversed,is a wonderful thought.As they age they look forward to a shoulder to rest on.If you give it they find the peace and with that the happiness pervades all around..Take care

CU

Smita said...

very well put...still have not believed the loss...think about it everyday. all of this makes me rethink my priorities....life is too short...

Thinking aloud said...

@talk to the hand; vidya; compassion unlimited...

Thanks for the kind words...i think it hits u more when u r far away...:(

Thinking aloud said...

@ smita...
now u don't stress urself out, i agree coming to terms is the most difficult thing...

Ps said...

Very true.We do not realise what we have till we lose it.Time is the best healer--and when someone close to us passes away they live on in our hearts.I started this blog just to cope with one devastating loss.In case you want to read click here

Prats said...

I'm terribly sorry about this loss.

Nothing can substitute the loss of a dear person. Its more gutwrenching to see the loved ones suffer....but there is hope, and there is love....
we should learn to spread that and then i'm sure we'll be able to face a better life within ourselves

Thinking aloud said...

@ps...

i did read it...I know how difficult it must have been for you...you're right, blogging has given me some sort of release and i'm glad of it

Thinking aloud said...

@prats

ur right...its sad to see evryone grieve...this ws written after an emotional chat with my grandparents...it was as if they'd given up on life...:(

Tys on Ice said...

:) its written that when asked whats the funniest thing in the world by Yama ( the lord of death) to Yuddishtra, he answered that its the way people live as if they are immortals even when theres death all around...

iam glad that u r able to get something so positive out of ur tragedy...

Thinking aloud said...

@ tys on ice...
did he really??? true...but when a young person dies, that too without recognising her loved ones for those 2 months, you really feel that that was not how it shd be..

The Freelance Cynic said...

It's always a sobering thought to realize that tomorrow those who light up your life, could be gone, and you could find yourself living in Darkness.
but it serves to remind to hold on tight why we have a chance.

Raghu Kanchustambham said...

Sorry to hear about the unfortunate event...

And you are right - do everything you CAN so that one day, whatever be the result, you could proudly say "I did everything that was humanly possible!" Remember we all have very little time :)

A lot of times we look at the stars in the sky and ignore the beautiful flowers at our feet. We ignore the time we ought to spend with these beautiful flowers because we take them for granted!

And I was reading this little poem by Henry Scott a little while ago...

Death is nothing at all.
I have only slipped away into the next room.
Everything remains as it was.
The old life that we lived so fondly together
Is untouched, unchanged.
Whatever we were to each other,
That we are still.
Call me by the old familiar name.
Speak of me in the easy way
Which you always used.
Put no sorrow in your tone.
Laugh as we always laughed
At the little jokes that we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.
Let my name be ever
The household word that it always was.
Let it be spoken without effort
Life means all that it ever meant.
There is unbroken continuity.
Why should I be out of mind
Because I am out of sight?
I am but waiting for you,
for an interval,
Somewhere very near,
just around the corner.
All is well.
Nothing is hurt,
nothing is lost.
One brief moment and all will be
as it was before.
How we shall smile at the trouble of parting,
When we meet again...

May her sould rest in peace and May God bless all the beautiful people!

Thinking aloud said...

@ fc

I do echo that sentiment...thank u for dropping by...

@ raghu k

thank you for your kind words...and yes..it IS a beautiful poem...

dame's diary said...

Hey,

Hang in there...

Hugs,
DD

Thinking aloud said...

@ dd

hey..thanx :)

Keshi said...

Im sorry to hear abt ur aunt. My prayers r with u and ur family.


**At this stage in my life it is definitely time to renew all those relationships I've taken for granted

well thought of!

we never know if we or they'd be alive tmrw...today is all we hv...


HUGGGGGGGGGGZ!
Keshi.

Thinking aloud said...

@keshi

thanx...:)

Vinesh said...

my condolences!

remember this from somewhere i read: if u love someone tell them now, because they may not be around if you wait.

Thinking aloud said...

@ vinesh
that's a beautiful line...thanx :)

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